5 years from now, and 10 years ago today......

     Have you ever been asked, Where will you/ Where do you want to be in 5 years?? It's kind of a silly question if you think about it. With the 10 year anniversary of the September 11th attack today it's kind of weird to think about it. 10 years ago I was a Freshman at Coronado High School, we had just finished the early morning practice with the band. A girl.... I don't remember her name, but if I saw her today I would know it was her. She was a flute player, she had long black hair and she came in and said. "The world is ending America is under attack in New York." I remember laughing, along with several other people. Thinking she was kidding. A few minutes later Mr. Capshaw, the band director came in and let us know, the horrific truth. She wasn't wrong, she wasn't kidding. The world may not have been ending but something had happened in New York City. He turned on the TV and we watch the smoke roll out of the 1st tower, as we were sitting there in the band hall trying to figure out what was going on....we heard the lady on the news in a panicked voice say there was another plane heading toward the 2nd tower. Within seconds of her saying that it hit... there was complete silence in the band hall, and I can only imagine all over the country. It all started coming together, we watched the news for the rest of the class. Then the bell rang. We each went on to our other classes, but I really don't think anybody did anything in any class that they went to. I can remember in each class we went to we watched the news unfold on the TV. Living in a border city, with an military base, several kids left early. The whole day was just so surreal. In between classes was eerily quiet. No one knew what to say, think or assume was going to happen next. If you had asked me that day....where do you see yourself in 5 years??? I can honestly say that don't know what I would've said. Maybe I would've replied with in college somewhere. Maybe with a long term boyfriend. Possible engaged, maybe even married. I really don't remember what my goals/dreams were at that time in my life. What I can tell you, is 5 years later, on September 11, 2006 I was a proud proud mommy of a beautiful 3 month old baby girl. I was trying to find my way through life, trying to figure out how I was gonna do this all by myself. Trying to decide how to integrate David and his other family into mine and Brooke's life. Another thing I can tell you, is 5 years from September 11, 2001.... I wasn't where I thought I would be. But I was a mommy and my life was amazing watching my daughter grow.
On September 11, 2006 if you had asked me, where do you see yourself in 5 years?? I would've probably said something involving Brooke being in kindergarten. Maybe I would've said I hoped I'd be married with another child. Or finished/finishing college. There's so many things I could've said that I wanted for my daughter and I. Yet today, on September 11, 2011 I'm at a place in life that I would've never in a million years guess I'd be. I'm a single mother of 2. Neither dad is really involved. I get less than 300 a month in child support, combined from both dads. I make less than $1,500 a month. My credit is shot, so I can't apply for a loan on a house, on a car on a vacation for my kids. But.... I am happier than I have ever been in my entire life. I wake up each day looking forward to another day with my babies. Another day at a job that I love. Another day to grow in my budding relationship with Jesus Christ. Most importantly, another day. I am so blessed in life in so many ways.
So where do I want to be 5 years from today??? Exactly where I am. In love with my children. In a job that I love. With friends and family that help me to be where I am each day. Maybe I'd like to be in a house rather than an apartment. It'd be nice to be a little more financially stable. I wouldn't be offended if I was in a stable and healthy relationship with a man who loves my children as his own. The best thing about today, and 5 years from today, is if nothing changed. I'd be ok. I am so happy with my life and everything in it. I look forward to every morning getting ready for school and work. I relish each day at work with friends, and the kids that are there so bring a smile to my face and warmth to my heart. Lastly I cherish each precious moment that I have each evening with my children getting ready for bed.
Thank you to all the first responders who risk their lives for strangers every day. Thank you to all the military who put their lives on the line to protect our freedom. We will never forget the 2,977 people who lost their lives on that horrible day. Living this life as a single mom raising 2 children to be the type of people I want them to be as adult isn't always easy. But every day is a new a fun adventure, and it's always a new adventure!