Dear Future Husband,

Dear Future Husband.... I have been searching for you for at least 27 1/2 years now..... I've had the perfect wedding planned for you for years. I've had the date picked, for years. It started with 05/06/07..... Then it was going to maybe be 10/11/12...... This year is was 12/13/14. I've always wanted a wedding date with consecutive numbers. This is the last year for that chance. So I want to apologize to you. I haven't found you yet, and I'm so close to giving up. I don't like the feeling of giving up. I don't like the hopelessness feeling that comes with heartbreak. I don't like planning my wedding and my future with a man... only to realize he isn't you. Future husband, I can promise you, that when I do find you I will love you with all my heart and soul. I will give you so much that you will wonder how you survived before you found us. I will love and cherish you for all of my days. I will be loyal and faithful and helpful to you. I will fix you dinner, make your plate. I'll wash and fold your clothes. I will spoil you. And you will let me. I am a very giving person, always have been... always will be. I promise I will give to you so much that you will probably feel smothered. But, please know I'm not trying to smother you. It's the way that I love.... Just ask my kids. But dear husband of mine, that I haven't yet had the privilege of meeting yet..... I need you to do a few things for me.

Please, be an adult. You don't have to act your age all the time. But please.. be able to have an adult conversation without... running away... throwing a fit.... throwing a temper tantrum.... hitting me.... yelling at me... or giving up on us. I promise I wouldn't be investing my time into you if I didn't think it was worth it.

Please have lived your life. Please have crazy and wild stories about riding on top of the car. Please have an insanely beautiful ex-girlfriend. I want to be crazy jealous of the time you had with her...  but ridiculously overwhelmed by the fact that she had you...  but now you're mine. And will be forever. But even though you have the stories... please respect our relationship. Don't compare... Don't tell me stories that I don't want to hear (sexual escapades with said beautiful ex).

Please.. and this is one of the big ones. Please... Love my children. They have been through so much in the past few years. I have put them through so much in the past few years. They deserve you to  treat them like they are your own flesh and blood. Their own fathers don't treat them that way. They deserve someone who does. Love them, discipline them, cater to them, be hard on them, let them get away with things. Let Brooke fix your hair. Teach Bryson to catch a football and play baseball. My children are my world.... They will always come first in our lives... as will yours if you have any.

Please have manners. Say please and thank you. Chew with your mouth closed. Hang up your towel after the shower (most the time). The little things count more than you could ever imagine and mean more to me than I could ever explain.

Please remember this.... White Roses. They're my favorite. Yes my favorite color is red... but White roses will always get you far.

Please talk to me. Voice your opinion. Voice your fears. Your dreams. You wants and needs. Please don't keep it bottled in.... I am your biggest advocate and I will always have your back in any situation. (Within reason).

Dear future husband.... I am so excited to meet you. I miss you and I don't even know your name. I love you, and I don't even know the color of your eyes. I dream of you and I've never heard your voice. I know that we will be happy, I know that we will prevail and I know that we will have our happily ever after.

Dear future husband.... here's the biggest one of all.......... Please exist. Please be out there and find me. I need you more than you could ever imagine and I want to begin the rest of my life with you.