2011, a year in review

Wow.... the last day of 2011. This yea has gone by so fast. I still can't believe we're going into 2012. As I look back on the year, it's going to shock most people but 2011 was one of the best years of my life. Begining in January when I won tickets to go see Jason Aldean in Lubbock. Eric Church opened up for him and it was an amazing concert!! It just got better from there!! In February I moved from the infant room to an Admin position at Aladdin's. And while I loved loved loved working with the babies, being an Admin has been such a learning experience and so much fun. I wouldn't trade it for the world! My world just got better from there. My kids were growing into such amazing healthy children. My job was amazing. My friends... well my friends and family were fantastic!! Sometime in early 2011 I won tickets to go see Willie Nelson.. That concert was May 1st. It was awesome, 4th row and I had so much fun with Tammy!! Then of course also in May I had Mother's Day, Bryson's Birthday, Brooke's Birthday, Brooke's graduations from Pre-K at Carver and from Aladdins. Then on May 26th, I went to see Sugarland and Little Big Town opened up for them.... there aren't even words to describe how wonderfully amazing that concert was!! It was an amazing little getaway with my stepmom and dad to Lubbock. It was so good to spend time with just me and them, that never happens since I have 2 kids and they have 2 kids. The summer at Aladdin's was so much fun!! All the field trips and fun stuff we did with the kids was so cool! Then in August my little brother started junior high, and my daughter started Kinder. Both such big milestones!! Each and every month was better than before. Each and every month this year I felt like I was on top of the world and could do anything!!! Septemeber was a big month for me and my family. We moved churches from Asbury Methodist to Crossroads Fellowship. I wanted a church with a better children's program. I needed a church that could help me grow in my relationship with Christ and help me teach my kids about God's love. We switched churches on September 11th. On September 18th, they began a new series called, One Month to Live. It was a series based on teaching people how to live their lives with no regrets. On September 23, I went on my first date with a guy I'd been talking to for almost a year. The date went amazing and Jessie and I decided we wanted to make things a little more serious. On Sept. 25th, Keeghan went to church with me and we had a great great time, that kid makes me laugh so much!!! That Friday, September 30th, was crazy hair day at work. Lesli fixed my hair in about 30 different little ponytails!! Then April ordered Zucci's for lunch so I went into there to order the food with all my crazy ponytails! It was hilarious! When I got back to work I got a phone call from my brother's friend in El Paso, Matt. He told me Tony sent him a message on Facebook and it really worried him. He wanted me to let my mom know so she could find Tony and make sure he was ok. Make sure he wasn't gonna do anything drastic. I called my mom and let her know, she told me she would look for him and let me know when she knew where he was. The next morning, October 1st, I had a training with some girls from work. It was so much fun, it was with Mary Hansen who is an amazing person to do trainings with..... This was the last morning I'd ever feel "normal" again. During the training I texted my mom and Matt a few times to see if they had heard from Tony, neither of them had. After the training I went to pick up my kiddos from the soccer fields where they were watching Braylynn play a game. I got them and then I went to Walmart for a few things. We got home about 5:00-5:30. I started cooking dinner, I was making sloppy joes. I made all of our plates and then sat down for dinner. Just as I got up to make my second sandwich my text message went off. I got my plate and sat down. I looked at my phone and it was a text from my mom at 6:02, it said "I need you to call me when you get home". I picked up my phone and immidiately called my mom. She answered the phone and I didn't even have to ask.... I already knew something was very very wrong. She asked me if I was sitting down, I told her I was. It was then at 6:03 my whole world was turned upside. My cloud 9 that I had been riding for months disinigrated beneath me and I came hurdling towards the deepest darkest scariest pits of hell that you can imagine. At 6:03 my mom told me they had found my baby brother Anthony. Well, they had found my brother's body. Him and his friend, who was only 18 had taken their lives together. I felt like I had been punched in the throat and stumoch at the same time. I couldn't breathe, I felt like I was gonna throw up, and my head started to pound. I screamed something. I think it was no. My kids started crying and I went outside. By some kind of magic miracle my mommy insticts kicked in and I knocked on my neighbors door and asked her to get the kids. She came to my apartment while I waited outside and she got them and the food they were eating. Once they were in her apartment I hung up with my mom and called Rhonda, she happened to be on her way to my apartment anyway so she got there pretty quick. She arrived at my apartment to find me crying in my bathroom. I was sure I was going to throw up at any minute so I didn't want to move. However, even if I wanted to move I'm not sure if I could have. After some time passed, we got the kids from Lisa and I packed a bag for them to stay the night with Rhonda. After she left I sat on my couch and cried and cried and cried. I tried to go for a walk but I just ended up at the church across the parking lot and I sat on the curb there and cried. Finally I went back to my apartment and tried to take a hot bath to calm down, but it didn't work. Eventually Melissa came over and had a Dr. Pepper and a snickers bar. She stayed for a few hours and we cried, she made me laugh a few times and while she was there I planned 2 things. I wanted to read my brother's school project at his services. I also wanted a tattoo of a square on my wrist, just like he had. But with his (our) initials in it. The next week was a blur, but I went to El Paso on Wednesday. On Thursday my mom and I got most of the stuff needed for Tony's service. On Friday my dad and Rhonda got to El Paso with my babies. Then on Saturday we had a beautiful beautiful service for my baby brother. The rest of October was a emotional roller coaster. There were days where I felt like I couldn't move couldn't breathe. Then there were others where I was almost ok.

Even with this tragedy my year has been pretty good. I have to say I'm going to miss 2011. Even though it had the worst moments I'll ever go through in my life. The good times were amazing, and it was a really fun year. I can't wait to see what the new year has in store for me and my children. Although my heart is still shattered I'm slowly picking up the pieces and getting my life back together and getting back to normal. And I know with the help of the people who I have around me it'll all be ok.

A Christmas Miracle from a Christmas Angel

As most of you know I am a single mom of 2. I have an amazing job, and it pays the bills. However it doesn't leave much left over. Thankfully, a few months ago David finally started paying child support. Well I never plan on it arriving because I never know when it's going to stop. Well today when I got to work I got something I never expected. As I came around the corner of one of the desk to put up my purse I saw a few bags of things. As I looked I saw toys, clothes, shoes, and a bike just to name a few. Well I asked my boss where it all came from and what it was for. Since I work in a daycare people are constantly donating things for us to use in the classes. She told me that my children and I were chosen by an organization to receive all these gifts from an anonymous donor. Well needless to say, the flood gates opened up quickly. I am so honored. So touched. I feel so blessed, and words will never be able to explain what this means to me and my children! I wish I knew who the donor was so I could personally say thank you! I can only hope that he/she will be reading this and know how grateful I am. Because even if I did know who it was, I'd never be able to truly explain my immense and deep gratitude for this amazing gift. Its so much more than presents.... It's an awesome Christmas for my kids, because they deserve it and I can't give them all that I want. It's a good Christmas for my little family when the past 2 1/2 months have been such an emotional roller coaster. So again... Thank you who ever you are... From the bottom of my heart, I only wish I could say it to you personally and give you a hug.